Left – Geoff Sirmai and Adam O'Brien (The Commuter). Cover – Paul Wilson and Brett Heath (The Sum of Your Experience). Photos – Sylvi SoeShort + Sweet seems to have become the theatre for people who don't usually go to theatre. To some extent, of course, it's also theatre made by people who don't usually make theatre. The first thing means, perhaps, people are more easily pleased, on the basis of the relative novelty of the adventure. The second means, potentially, the risks are higher, for those of us that treasure theatrical excellence. It's a lottery, really. This was the final showing in week four of the top eighty. I know. Eighty's too many, really, to earn the descriptor 'top'. Which isn't to say there weren't reasonably high watermarks in evidence.
The first cab off the rank was proof positive. Darren Menachemson's Conversations At A Urinal, directed by Craig Delahoy, ventured into absurd and surreal territory to interrogate the ceiling for corporate servitude and loyalty. Two men, (Bob & Jeff) face us, their pants dropped, as they spend a penny and quite some time pissing up against the wall. One pees the conventional yellow, just as his father did and his father before him; the other, purple, to match the bathroom decor, in deference to his wife's fastidious penchant for decorating. Happily for the economy, these men (played by Brian Teo and Adam Pedicini) have been brainwashed to the point of clamouring to work seven days a week, practically never seeing their families, having no desire to squander time on indulgences like eating. Or weeing. To better adhere to this 'arbeit uber alles' ethic, they've had a procedure which means they only need relieve themselves every so often. One of them can go for a whole month without incident. Even if it does mean, when he does hit the wall, he has to stand with his best friend for two hours. It's an amusing parody of our wholesale self-sacrifice and subservience to what used to be called 'the man'.
Especially in light of such a strong start, Would You Like To Hear A Joke? is a dumbfounding (and dumb) inclusion. Penned by Daniel Saunders, it is almost utterly unintelligible. So much so, I can't begin to describe what it's about, as I've no real clue. It pivots on one of those three men walk into a bar gags, but the gag remains unresolved. Gag or not, there's nothing funny here. I think it's objective may be to make some comment on our propensity to stereotype, but I can't be sure and, frankly, it's not worth the effort. To add insult to injury, the performances would almost embarrass the stars of an infants' school nativity play. No names. No pack drill. Director Kathryn Schuback should hang her head in shame. This is inexcusably God-awful and has no place on a public stage, let alone as paid-for entertainment.
Robert Armstrong'sHide, directed by Stephen Carnell, features Laura Holmes, as Heidi, and Chris Miller, as Clyde. Carnell, as is apparent when dressed in a suit, has a similar carriage to Hitchcock who, I suspect, he admires. If looking to take on something of that tongue-in-cheek suspenseful style, he's found the right playwright and actors. It's a dark story with a twist in the tale. There's a knock at the door. Clyde answers. He seems agitated and menacing. Heidi, though, isn't as innocent as she first appears. A game of cat-and-mouse ensues. Anything could happen. To either one. And it does. All it's missing is the Psycho soundtrack. Well written. Well played. Expertly directed.
Even or especially, on paper, A Lawyer's Fantasy sounds alarming. David Roberts is Russell Bent. Hermione (Veronica Barac), his faithless 'secretary', announces the arrival of Sue Ball (Rose Crane). Ball has, apparently, come to protest the exorbitant fees charged by Bent, which drove her father, a triumphant client of Bent's to suicide. Bent has done nothing illegal and proceeds to rationalise his highway robbery. But all is not as it seems. There's something else, rather saucier going on. Roberts and Crane are quite fine in this blackly comical Bryan McMahon-directed outing.
Lunch Bites In The Desert, by Con Nats, is nothing if not novel. Appropriately costumed by Lucy Hamilton, Alastair Buchanan is Roadie and Matthew Rose is Ralph. Roadie? Ralph? Ring any bells. It's basically a reconstruction of the Road Runner cartoons, in which the relationship between the elusive bird and wily, but hapless, coyote is teased out. Obviously, it's a very clever and amusing premise, well-sustained, thanks to relaxed performances and similarly self-assured direction.
Kerrie Spicer'sJilted, directed by Felix Carlyle (who, speaking of Hitchcock, even makes an ever-so-brief cameo as a jogger) stars Sam Smith as Garth, who we find chained to a 'no standing' sign, or similar, in his CKs. A lascivious older woman (Colleen Henry) passes by serially, but he can't enlist her help, even if she does declare he's sporting 'nice jocks'. Then power-dressed Cassandra (Sarah Knowles), rushing and texting simultaneously, becomes intrigued by his situation. He sweet talks her, explaining, predictably, he's the victim of a buck's prank that's no longer funny, as he's due at the altar in an hour. Cassandra is reluctant to help, especially when she learns the key to set him free is in his undies. But there's also fifty dollars in there. After due consideration, she fumbles until she finds, making off with he reward. But Garth then realises he's got zilch for a taxi. But someone comes to his rescue. Again, well-executed, from page to stage.
The Sum Of Your Experience is a thing of wonder and deserving of much wider exposure. While Short+Sweet sometimes tends to attract the trivial and the slight, this is a substantial work, even if it is only ten minutes long. Better yet, Paul Wilson as The Man and Brett Heath as The Thief (directed by Nir Shelter) veritably burn with intensity. This thief is trying to steal something much more precious than money. Something none of us can live without. It's timed and sustained splendidly and was almost certainly the finest work in this heat, with a level of sophistication not often seen in this context.
Josh Hartwell's A Different Client, directed by Paul Bugeja, is also a piece with more solemnity than many. Marshall (Greg Wilken) waits agitatedly, swigging Scotch. Finally, there's knock at the door. It's a handsome, swarthy gigolo (Roberto Zenca). But it's not what we think. The tragic truth of the situation takes time to out, but it's worth the wait. It's pretty heavy-going for a Sunday arvo and a little too contrived, but solid work regardless. Performances, too, are good.
Graham Brown'sA Chip Off The Old Block proves a rather hamfisted metaphor, despite its aspiration to subtlety. Gila Joy Roberts directs Lisa Fletcher as The Sculptor and Ioanna Panagiotopoulos as her choreographed Stone. Giving birth is a painful process, in more ways than one and it's true, whether the raw material is granite or genes. It's vaguely balletic, but takes itself just a little too seriously.
The Commuter is written by Trevar Chilver and directed by Luke Berman. Anyone who has occasion to frequent one of Sydney's icons, like the opera house, is likely to be as frustrated and grumpy as I, in having to weave through clusters of happy-snapping overseas visitors. Adam O'Brien, in a sense, plays me, fed up to the back teeth with people like The Tourist (Geoff Sirmai). Not only is he being harassed and harangued by the emphatic American, but badgered by an unsupervised kid (Nik Nikitenko) he doesn't even know. O'Brien relates what's really a live, as it happens anecdote with suitable urgency; the pace and format is a little like Run Lola Run. The ever-charismatic Sirmai is in his element with a broad Bronx accent, though he needs to put on a few pounds to really have us believe he eats a lot of lox 'n' bagels. Nikitenko is a cookie-cut cute kid, but I could barely understand a word he said.
Top to bottom, it's a pretty impressive lineup, with a number of creditable pieces and one head-and-shoulders standout and one indefensible, unforgivable inclusion. Yes, all are short. Several are sweet.
Short+Sweet Theatre Sydney 2013
Week 4
Venue: King Street Theatre
Dates: Wed Jan 30 – Sun Feb 3
Tickets: $33/$28 conc (Wild Cards $30/27)
Bookings: www.shortandsweet.org/sydney | 0423 082 015
The full program at www.shortandsweet.org/sydney
